Welcome to about me.

My name is Joseph, Joe, Joerdie, or "Hey you in the bushes!" depending on how you know me. On occasion I say things that are "funny" or "deep" to the two people who think I am "funny" and "deep." Below, I have placed a few in the form of a list. (Because no one reads paragraphs anymore.)

• "So I've kept all my fortune cookie fortunes and you know the "Learn Chinese" things on the back? Well I'm going to make a poster out of them, call somebody in China, and have a conversation with them!"
  
  
• "I am an only child, with three brothers, three sisters, and three fathers. Hello to Abbie, Amy, Annye, Clay, Conner, David, Dave, Pete, and Steve!"
  
  
• "I love music more than any other art; and have an unhealthy obsession with a man named Trent Reznor. "Contrary to popular belief, I only stalk Thom York
  during the day and Billy Corgan when it's the 1990's."
  
  
• "I am a monster Star Trek fan. Seriously, ask me anything... No really,ask me something. Seriously, ask me something. Really. Anything. ASK ME SOMETHING!"
  
  
• "OK, so." (pushes hair behind ears) Here's the thing... umm. (Stated every time he is about to tell a story. ~Clay)
  
  
• "Men are generally hotter than woman."
  
  
• "I once found a rock in my jeans."
  
  
• Clay: "You can just run your Prius through a wall!"
  Me: "Yeah! They'll never hear it coming!"
  
  
• "Say, does anyone know that fellow with the hat in the back? I think that guy looks like a great employee! Someone hire him quickly!" (I was talking about me...)
  
  
• "I have always wanted to start a story with, "So I'm nailing this chick right? and..." but have never had the guts too."
  
  
• "Yeah, this is my 'Please-For-The-Love-Of-God-Hire-Me' haircut"
  
  
• "If there was a law that required everyone to eat and drink nothing but Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Diet Coke, I would totally vote for that person again."
  
  
• "I sometimes say things that are very dirty, after a wink and a nudge... except sometimes I forget to wink and nudge."
  
  

Also, the best songs ever written, in no particular order are as follows:

• Just Like You Imagined, by Nine Inch Nails.
  
  
• How To Disappear Completely, by Radiohead.
  
  
• E Is For Estranged, by Owen Pallett.
  
  
• Sea Monsters, by Canon Blue.
  
  
• Soma, by Smashing Pumpkins.
  
  
• Leaving Hope, by Nine Inch Nails.
  
  
• All I Need, by Radiohead.
  
  
• Do Me A Favour, by Artic Monkeys.
  
  
• King Of Carrot Flowers Part 1, by Neutral Milk Hotel.
  
  
• Work In This Universe, by Fulflej.
  
  
• New Noise, by Refused.
  
  
• How You Will Meet Your End, by A.A. Bondy.
  
  
• The White Lady Loves You More, by Elliott Smith.
  
  
• And All That Could Have Been, by Nine Inch Nails.
  
  
• Somebody That I Used To Know, by Gotye.